I recently mentioned that we were sleep training Lukah, at 4 months old, and got so many questions about what we’re doing, so I figured it would be easiest to answer your questions here. I’ll share what has worked for us below, however, just know that we are not sleep experts/trainers and this may not work for you or your baby—and that’s totally okay. There are so many other ways to sleep train your baby, so please do not feel discouraged if this doesn’t work for you. I just wanted to share our experience with you and what has worked for us—with both boys.
I want to also note that we are currently staying at my mom’s house and only have one crib. Lukah transitioned from the SNOO to our travel crib with zero problems. We currently use our favorite portable sound machine in his room and it’s really loud. Our favorite mattress for our crib is this one and it’s 100% breathable!
Last February we found out we were pregnant with Lukah. Ayven was just 5 months old at the time and waking up a lot through night. At this point, we knew we had to do something immediately because we had another baby on the way and the lack of sleep was catching up to us.
As first-time parents, we really didn’t know much about sleep training, so we researched different ways to sleep train a baby and found the ‘Ferber’ method which is also known as the ‘cry it out’ method. We were eager to get sleep so we tried this method right away. IT WAS HARD! It was so hard to hear Ayven cry and know that I couldn’t go in there and console him. But, WE DID IT! We were able to get Ayven to go from waking up 2-3 times a night to only waking up once for a night feed that was usually around 1am. At this point, we were getting a lot more sleep but we were ready for him to sleep through the entire night. So, we sought the help of a sleep trainer.
Sleep Trainer: Our sleep trainer really helped us hammer down a good sleep schedule that worked for both Ayven and us. We were putting him to bed around 8pm thinking this was an early bedtime. Well, it was actually too late. According to our sleep trainer, the earlier you put them to bed, the longer they’ll sleep (but not earlier than 5:30pm). We were so surprised! She gave us a bedtime of 6pm. Some days, depending on his naps, 6pm was too late so we would put him down at 5:45pm instead. We knew we had to move his bedtime up earlier because he was having a hard time putting himself to sleep, meaning he cried a lot because he was too tired. Again, his bedtime varied depending on his day-to-day but we stuck anywhere between 5:30-6pm. As he gets older, his bedtime, his bedtime is adjusted.
Schedule: This schedule is the one used with Ayven and now Lukah. Again, this was our schedule and it worked for us. They will drop naps as they get older. Ayven now only takes one nap a day and he is 18 months old.
6:00-7:00 AM Wakeup
9:00 AM First Nap
12:00 PM Second Nap
3:00 PM Third Nap
6:00 PM Bedtime
*Naps are ideally anywhere from 1-1.5 hours long. If less, totally okay. Even 20 mins is fine.
*If Lukah has a short 3rd nap or no nap, we move bedtime up earlier to 5:30-5:45pm. We adjust his schedule based on how fussy he is but try to stay as close to the schedule as possible–this applies for naps, as well. Sometimes, for his second nap, he’ll go to sleep at 11:30am instead of 12pm but we still stick the schedule for the rest of the day and adjust accordingly (based on fussiness).
*Catnap—Ayven didn’t always fall asleep but we needed to at least offer it to him for late afternoon fussiness—to hold him over until bedtime. Lukah does take all 3 naps since he’s on the younger side.
*We also make sure that the boys never fall asleep on us or on the bottle. We place them in their crib/pack-n-play somewhat awake so that they know they can put themselves to sleep.
Sleep Log: Logging helped us so much with both boys! As you sleep train, each day will look completely different. Their sleep times will more than likely need to be adjusted based on the length of their naps each day, so it just helps to know how that day has been looking to adjust accordingly. With Lukah, we logged the times in the ‘Notes’ section on our phones. Jordan added me as a collaborator so that I could also hop on to view and add entries to Lukah’s log. With Ayven, we used a google doc. You can also just log by writing on a piece of paper. Whatever helps you. Here’s our log of Days 2 and 3 for you to see how we logged.
Night Wakings: The first few nights we barely got any sleep—we literally felt like zombies with both boys. The moment we would hear Lukah cry on the monitor, Jordan would turn the monitor off (so that we didn’t have to hear him cry—this is the hardest part, hearing him cry) and would then set his timer for x amount of minutes, based on what the chart says. When the timer would go off, Jordan then would turn on the monitor to see if he was still crying, if so, then he would get up and go soothe him (in the dark).
Our Soothing Process:
- Placing our hand on their chest and telling them they’re okay
- Try giving them their paci (some nights they wouldn’t take it because they were crying)
- Tell them goodnight and ‘I love you’
- Walk out
We repeated this until they fell asleep on their own. This got a lot better by night 4 for us with both Ayven and Lukah. By night 5, Lukah slept from 6pm to 4am—’day 5′ says to wait 15mins before going in to console them. We set the timer for 15 mins, he was still crying when the timer went off so Jordan went in to soothe him. He gave him his paci and as soon as he walked out, Lukah put himself back to sleep. I woke him up at 7am on Day 6. By night 7, he slept through the entire night.
*Lukah does wake up at random times during the night, but he only cries for a few minutes and has been able to put himself back to sleep. Most times, they sound like a dream cry.
*If he wakes up and cries non-stop, we refer back to ‘day 7’ of the Ferber method until he falls back asleep.
Night Feeds: This was the main reason we got the help of a sleep trainer. We just didn’t know how to break the habit of Ayven waking up for a feed in the middle of the night. How you proceed with night feeds is totally up to you. We had the option to just stop cold turkey, to stop whenever we felt comfortable or to stop whenever Ayven just didn’t wake up for the feed anymore. Because we longed for a full night’s rest, we decided we would stop cold turkey. It took him only 2-3 days of waking up and not getting that night feed to fully sleep through the night. Of course, those few days were hard because he would cry wanting a bottle to soothe himself back to sleep.
*Before choosing to proceed with any of these options, talk to your pediatrician to make sure your baby no longer needs a night feed. Often times, if your baby is underweight, for their age, they will need to be fed at night.
Day Feeds: Lukah eats a lot during the day. When he wakes up (anytime between 6-7am), we give him 7oz of milk—we offer the same amount before bedtime.
Before and after each nap, we offer him 4-5oz of milk—most times he drinks all, sometimes he drinks 3oz. Again, these feedings 100% depend on him and on the lengths of his naps. For example, if he only sleeps 20mins, we don’t feed him again since he was just fed before we put him down. Sometimes he won’t want any even if we offer. You know your baby best so adjust the amount of oz and times you feed based on his/her age, weight, and preference. In another month, or so, Lukah will be eating more, therefore the amount we offer him will be more than we’re giving him now.
Make sure to always burp your baby before lying them down.
Diaper Changes: Once I get Lukah or Ayven ready for bed, they don’t get their diaper changed until the morning when they wake up. Also, note that if you feel like your baby is crying non-stop, you can go in and check to see if they pooped or need a diaper change. If Ayven wakes up crying in the middle of the night, most of the time, he pooped. That’s his way of letting us know he pooped. You’ll learn these cues as you grow with your baby.
Breastfeeding: I officially stopped breastfeeding 2.5 weeks ago, so, unfortunately, I don’t have advice on how to keep your supply up. I would ask a nurse, friend, doctor, etc…
Environment: Both boys sleep in their own room. We keep it completely dark with this sound machine on and keep the temperature anywhere from 68-71 degrees.
*while sleep training, I recommend keeping their room on the cooler side if they are wearing the sleepsuit–they will get really hot while crying.
Currently, for Ayven, we will sometimes leave a dim light on through his sound machine. He can still put himself to sleep in a lit-up room, during the day, but having it completely dark is just easier because he has nothing to look at—so he falls asleep faster. We love our sound machine because we can control everything straight from our phone like volume, sound, light, on/off, and even switch back and forth between both sound machines. It’s also very loud which is a plus if you have a sleeping kid while trying to sleep train your baby.
What They Wear: This is completely up to you. Lukah wears lightweight zip-up pj’s with the Merlin’s Sleepsuit (we used this sleepsuit with Ayven, too). I love lightweight pj’s so that he doesn’t get too hot with the sleepsuit, especially if he cries. I’ll also put on him a short sleeve onesie with warm, thick socks. The sleepsuit is supposed to help make the transition from the bassinet to crib a lot easier and it worked great with both boys. You also can opt not to use the sleepsuit. Not all babies like it anyways.
Routine: Having a routine is so important. Everything is scheduled out for us so that we can be as consistent as possible! Every night we give Lukah a bath, followed by getting him dressed for bed, ending the night with a bottle. I truly believe that this makes putting him down that much easier. It’s rare the times that he cries when we lay him down, even for naps. When we bathe him, we’re letting him know its bedtime and that’s how we differentiate naps from bedtime. (of course, if you need to bathe your baby during the day for other reasons, do so.)
In Conclusion: You absolutely do not have to try this method! There are many other ways you can sleep train your baby. You can also look into hiring a sleep trainer if you need some help as we did with Ayven. I highly recommend that you do your research, learn more about this method before deciding if it’s for you and your family. It’s not easy but know that you can also be flexible. If you feel that you need to repeat days, do so. If you feel like you need to pick your baby up to check on them, change them, cool them off, then do so. Ultimately, do whatever works for your baby because they’re all so different.
Once your baby is sleep trained, you will notice cues that tell you something is wrong if your baby keeps crying after you put them down. For example, recently, I had to go and check on Lukah because he was crying and sure enough, he had spit-up. I picked him up, took him out of his sleepsuit, changed his diaper, and gave him another (small) bottle. I was able to let him cool down while repeating our bedtime routine, again. After I burped him, I slipped the sleepsuit back on and laid him back down. He went to sleep immediately!
Also, if someone else takes care of your baby, make sure to write down your schedule for them to follow. Remember, consistency is key!
I’ll add the products we use in the widget below. If you have any questions, please ask in the comment section. 🙂
xoxo
